Thank you so much, you are so sweet.
Honestly, I have felt that same way, so don’t worry; we all have moments of weakness, sin, or doubt. One of the first things I had to learn in my walk with Christ was what faith really is. Hebrews 11:1 directly tells us that “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Simply put, the biblical definition of faith is “trusting in something you cannot explicitly prove.” Knowing that He is there even though we can’t physically see Him; it is also knowing that even when He is silent, it doesn’t mean that He isn’t listening.
I personally have struggled in my walk, and it wasn’t until about two or three years ago did I fully and wholly have my faith anchored in His word. Despite of my failings as a person, He loved me anyway and His mercy shined through. I made a horrible mistake with a friend, and I thought that I was lower than anything in this world, so I hid in my bathroom and just cried my eyes out. I began to just really pray and give it all to Him. That same night, He was there holding me, as I went and finally faced my mistake. I lost my friend, but I gained my savior that night. I thought that I would be so alone and have nothing and no one to comfort me, and that I would have to bear the shame of my mistake forever. But believe me when I tell you God is good!
The next day I went to my sister’s house to babysit, and I started to pray, asking God to forgive me, because I still felt horrible for what I did. After I turned on the TV the first thing I heard was the song “You Are More” by Tenth Avenue North and then after “Redeemed” by Big Daddy Weave. I knew God was talking to me after hearing those songs. Immediately, (well you know, immediately after several diaper changes and feedings) I got my Bible out and started reading. I found that the comfort I thought I would never have was written right there for me. I also found that I really enjoyed spending that time reading His word and that I was also a lot happier. I got a notebook for verses I wanted to remember, notes for Sunday school, and a lot of passages and advice posted here on Tumblr.
I personally feel that the best way to keep your faith anchored in Christ is to remember that even in the silence God is there working on our behalf, we just have to be patient and wait on our Father. A lot of times people want a “sign” or to Have God physically speak with us to affirm our faith, but the truth is God doesn’t have to speak to us from a burning bush like with Moses in order for Him to be there listening, He wants us to have faith in Him without us having actually seen anything. He hasn’t left you, and He is always, ALWAYS listening darling. The devil wants us to feel that we are alone and that God has left us to fend for our selves, when actually, that is the farthest thing from the truth. I want you to know now that loves you so much, and there is nothing you can do to stop that love. He is literally our Father, and as our father, He will always be there to comfort us, listen to us, and above all, love us.
Some amazing advice that I got was to remember that:
Jesus is a Person!
We get to know others by spending time with them and talking with the daily. We must also do this with our Father. It is so important that we spend time in His word, and to allow the truth of what we read to penetrate our hearts. Scripture is meant to be read on a daily basis, it is our spiritual food. So when we are reading His word, we are spending time with Him, learning about Him and investing more into our relationship with Him. The more time spent doing this, the closer we are to Him. The devil doesn’t want you reading the word, because he knows this is truth, that those pages are filled with God’s love for you. I strongly, STRONGLY urge you to read the word more. Start by spending at least 15 minutes reading your Bible and praying with God. I started off doing this, and 15 minutes turned into 30, an hour, and sometimes longer; now I naturally wake up and want to spend my mornings just me and Him.
Just remember that to get closer to God we have to get into the Word and talk to Him (He wants to hear what you have to say, He loves you). Sometimes it doesn’t seem like God is there and listening, but He is. Please remember that you are so loved by God, and that He wants you to spend time with Him, and of course, know that He is there for you.
Sorry,if this was a bit long. I do hope that this helps you and that you grow closer to God in every way. I will be praying for you, and keeping you in my thoughts. God bless you and have a wonderful day…or night…evening?